7 Dec 09 Monday

Current Mood: Cheesy

Here is the synopsis from Fandango.com I guess Fandango thinks everyone IN THE WORLD knows what Star Trek is from the lack of depth in this overview:

"From director J.J. Abrams ("Mission: Impossible III," "Lost" and "Alias"), producers Damon Lindelof and Bryan Burk and screenwriters Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman ("Transformers," "MI: III") comes a new vision of the greatest space adventure of all time, "Star Trek," featuring a young, new crew venturing boldly where no one has gone before."

Wow, thanks Fandango.

1. They see torpedoes coming at them and totally get blasted... I thought they had shields and what not.

2. Wtf is that Alien thing doing on their ship.

3. Evacuate the crew? To where? That enemy ship is HUGE.

4. Is that like, a meat locker? Why were they plastic clear curtains?

5. What is preggo doing on that ship?

6. Where are these people propelling from? Is there like a rock wall on their ship?

7. It's like the Titanic's sinking, no one's getting anywhere.

8. Woah, creepy nurse lady delivering chick's baby. I'd be screaming too if I saw her.

9. I hope everyone got off the ship before the captain decided to impact that other huge ship.

10. So the only way to kill alien ships is to fly your own ship into it? The good ole' Jap way.

11. Hover bike vs. car with wheels.... yeah, you're not getting away.

12. Isn't that a bad planet; Vulcan? I don't really know, they seem like they get a bad rep.

13. There's obviously still math in the future, we haven't designed a computer to do it all.

14. So the Vulcans are like the Asians of the Universe...

15. Why is there a giant bowl here? A learning bowl?

16. Dude, why do we all keep going to the same hairstylist? He's got a monopoly goin' on where the Vulcans live.

17. Is this years later or does he grow fast? Usually you show us a thing in the corner: "___ years later"

18. I think that "Live long and prosper" was more of a "fuck you" to that academy...

19. That was like the most pathetic grope ever.

20. "Your father was captain for 12 minutes- I dare you to do better." ..... TEN minutes!

21. I'll leave you a toy ship so when you get to the actual ships you'll know which one is the right ship.

22. That's retarded. A test you can't beat.

23. There are Pelican Cases in the future. Ftw.

24. Oh look, the Unites States States Enterprise! What is the second 's' for I'm confused.

25. Is Kumar in here, Harold? No, we're not going to White Castle in this. We're going to Vulcan.

26. That's like sleeping and waking up in almost a car crash, like not smart that they can't see what they are hyper speeding into.

27. Can't you hyper warp back out of there?

28. Kirk, you're not supposed to be here anyway so come with me to this ship so we can kill ourselves.

29. White power ranger, blue power ranger.... Ooh, red power ranger.

30. Yeah, I'd have to say fuck that. That's REAL skydiving. Well, galaxy diving.

31. So enemy ship didn't see 3 little people shoot out of the ship?

32. WHY THE FUCK didn't he pull his shoot?

33. Of course, he's Chinese, they can always flip around and fight. All he wanted was White Castle.

34. Guy who didn't open his shoot had the chargers... that's why EACH PERSON should have their own charger.

35. So I think the Czechoslovakian or whatever Slav guy meant to say "ten minutes" but it sounded like "biscuits".

36. They had to beam Spock down in the middle of nowhere- not anywhere he needed to be.

37. Well Spock's mom shouldn't have posted up so close to the ledge. Serves her right.

38. "I am now a member of an endangered species." Well, not really. You're not a purebred.

39. I love his over acting, it's really making this movie. "Damn it, man!"

40. Wow, they really kicked him off the ship, just shot him out. Tuck and roll, grandma!

41. There's no containment room on that ship, they just shoot you out??

42. Holy Jesus, of all planets you put me on this shitty one with tremors and snow.

43. "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?" Seriously. Retarded.

44. This future Spock ruins all surprise: "Beam me up Scotty" & "You're gonna become Captain"

45. "Either we're going down.... or they are." NO SHIT FUCKFACE.

46. Does that ship really need all those spinning parts? Is it that necessary?

47. I thought he was screaming "FUCK!" but I guess it was really, "SPOCK!"

48. "You can't even speak." No shit, asshole, you're strangling me.

49. It's basically gonna blow up anyways from being turned into a black hole so why waste your ammo on it?

50. Ooh, he's got a gold shirt and sits with his legs crossed. How gay of him.

FAIL.